I was reviewing my notes from the last two weeks today and I just have to say our new relationship series is off to a killer start! So many of you guys have come out to hear what the Bible has to say about relationships and who we are designed to be in them. The messages have been so rich with wisdom I have had a hard time keep track of all those lists and goals. I thought today would be a good chance to write them down just in case you missed some of them too!
Men vs Boys list
Men use charm, boys use Tinder.
Men want to take you to dinner, boys want to take you to bed.
Men will listen, boys want you to finish talking.
Men will make you feel safe, boys only save themselves.
Men make you feel confident, boys make you feel insecure.
Men protect your relationship, boys play games with your relationship.
Men look you in the eye, boys look everywhere else.
Men support your dreams, boys only talk about their dreams.
Men walk you home, boys show you the door.
Men hold your hand, boys hold you back.
Men appreciate you, boys appreciate what you can do for them.
Men love your imperfections, boys want you to be perfect.
Men communicate expectations, boys give in to frustrations.
Men overcome anger, boys throw temper tantrums.
Men love, boys lust.
Men are selfless, boys are selfish.
Men respond, boys react.
Men work hard, Boys hardly work #getajob
More thoughts on picking a partner
How men spend their money will say how they will treat their wives
Potential doesn't make for a good partner
Potential means you just want to change him
It isn't your job to change him, that's the Holy Spirits job.
If he is seeking God, the Holy Spirit will change him
Would you marry him if they never changed?
What to look for in a Man
1. Get wisdom:
Proverbs 4:1-10.Wisdom is applied knowledge.Knowledge without application is stupidity
"We don't have relationship or financial problems we have wisdom problems"
A man is secure in asking. Men a lot of times don't ask. And so they get lost in the process taking more time and energy than needed. We have to SEEK wisdom. Wisdom doesn't usually come knocking at your door. Men need to stop being reactive and start being proactive. Start asking good husbands now how to be a good husband! Most of us have been taught marriage from a very dysfunctional family.
"Ask for direction before you even need too"
Take the wisdom that has been given to you and apply it, PRACTICE MAKES PERMANENT! Ladies look not only at how he is as a husband but also as a father.
2. Be Generous:
Generosity at its core is selfless And is a characteristic from God! It requires you to give away what you have and to put others first. Be generous with your time, money, words. Men at their codes are selfish and we must fight it.
Psalm 37:25-26 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsake or their children begging bread.They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be a blessing.
Giving with expectation is not generosity. Generosity will shape your children. A lot of what children learn is caught not taught. Generosity at its core is an understanding it all belongs to God and you trust him with it. Don't be stupid with generosity, don't give your time and energy to everyone else and give your wife/family the leftovers. You have to learn how to prioritize!
Remember your most important relationship in life is with Christ!
Women vs Girls list
Women protect your heart, girls play with you heart
Women tell you what they mean, girls want you to figure out what they mean
Women talk to you, girls talk about you
Women will command your attention, girls cry out for your attention
Women will forgive you, girls will continually remind you
Women build you up, girls will tear you down
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1
Women trust you, girls control you
Women are confident, girls compare
Women own up to their mistakes, girls blame you for their mistakes
Women flirt with you, girls flirt with everyone else
Women are emotional, girls are irrational… women control their emotions, girls are controlled by their emotions
What to look for in a Woman
1. Fears God: God is first in her life. He remains first regardless of relationship. No relationship becomes an idol
2. Independent: She finds her identity in the Lord and not in those around her. She is complete in Christ.
"When she doesn't need you, She can want you"
3. Gracious and Encouraging: Is she forgiving toward those who wrong her? Does she hold grudges? Does she build others up or tear them down? She will likely show you the same grace she has displayed to others. Is she encouraging you to be more christ-like?
4. Honoring: Is she respectful toward others? Does she value their input? Wives are called to respect their husbands whether or not they deserve it. A woman who cannot honor will not respect. Proverbs 31 her husband is respected at the city get.
"Her treatment of you will determine how others see you"
5. Team player: Is she willing to work with others to accomplish a goal or does she always focus on what she wants? Is everything always about her? When you are married you are on the same team.
Marriage is teamwork! It requires 200%, each partner giving all 100% of themselves.
Women were designed to fight for and together.
Live up to what God has called you to be.
I hope reading over this again serves as a catalyst for you to TODAY begin to start living as the man or woman God has created you be. Whether you are in a relationship or not to pursue holiness. Hope to see you all tonight